I’ve missed you.

I told you up front that I would not be consistent with this blog. I did not realize that I would be this bad though.
A lot has happened in the last couple weeks. Since I have returned home from PA I had to get busy with work. Not really working for about a month put a serious dent in my financial situation. As most of you know, when independent contractors don’t work…they do not get paid. No vacation pay for me. The upside… I don’t have to worry about being fired for attendance!!!
I would not change one moment in the last few months. It has been an amazing ride of emotions and highways! Honestly, I do not know how I managed to get so much done. I traveled out of the state 3 times and stayed gone about a week each time. Football season has started this week officially but I have been working on the preparations for at least 2 months now. As one of the team moms, I am responsible for marketing of fundraiser events and I assist in the planning of season long events. I am on the committee for the newest fundraiser for Hamilton Heights Athletic Department, The Morse Mini Marathon and 5K Run;. Sooner than that, on August 1st is the Ladies Day Out Luncheon which is a fundraiser for the football team. And…I am the newest director of Affiliated Women Intl™ North Hamilton Neighborhood, planning and executing the launch.
I did work a little here and there but I found more time for family. That is the first time that I have said that phrase. “More time for Family” used to just apply to one person Drew, my son. So instead the phrase would be “More time for Drew and I”.
I am getting back into the routine again and I have found that I missed my Twitter buddies and my Facebook friends. I had not posted my usual discussion updates on Affilliated Women Intl™ or Smaller Indiana Bigger Ideas or LinkedIN…you get the point.
It is almost 3 in the morning when I write this post and I realize that I need to get some sleep. I have been catching up on my discussions, following up on emails and just plain getting organized again. I may have gotten to it last week but I just recently got into a car accident. Totaled my car…Thank Goodness for Auto Insurance!!! I had my seatbelt on and it saved me all but a bit of “whiplash”. God is good!
Drew is excited about Football season as this is when he is at his best. He lives it, breathes it, dreams it. That is why I am a team mom. Football goes 6 days a week from now until end of October so I may be even less consistent than I have been with this blog. Hell, I may need to have a place to vent…who knows.
Can you believe school is just around the corner? Crazy how time will fly. Drew is building a life for himself now. He is 16 and has become a mature, responsible young man. I have done well. We have done well for ourselves. We are good to each other (most of the time) and we say “I love you” every day. We might not get home till 10pm and we might be tired as hell from our individual days but our days are going to be remembered as wonderful. He will be successful at whatever he decides to do, anyone that knows him knows that! His teachers love him, he has lots of friends and he is a straight A student. What more can a mom ask?
Whenever life gets a little tough, stay positive and look at all the wonderful things that life has to offer. No matter what my life has brought to me, I have been blessed with an amazing son, new family and beautiful people that have helped me along the way.

Vacation is over…time to get back to life as it was.

I am sitting here on the back porch looking over the Appalachian Mountains with homes spread across the hills that seem to fit together like puzzle pieces. Wow, what a view! In Vandergrift, Pennsylvania I am in the heart of the mountains. The people of this area have a different dialect, their yards are very small and they HAVE to use more gas going up and down all these damn hills! I bet their brakes and transmissions give them hell too!
Family is new to me if you have not read any previous posts. I have 2 sisters that I just met again after 27 years of being separated. We found each other in March thanks to the wonderful internet. My middle sister Jennifer and her 3 teenage daughters were able to meet up for Easter at my house for 5 days. 2 weeks later, I was in Bellview, Michigan visiting my baby sister Kimberly Dawn (very adamant about being called FIFI). I was blessed to be able to be there for the birth of my youngest of 5 nieces. At the end of May my son, Drew and I came to PA to visit Jennifer’s home, stayed a week and brought back my 3 nieces. One month later, to bring them home, I am here in PA again for 6 days of family.

Sadly, I am leaving today. Going far away from my family again, back to work, back to reality and not knowing when I am going to see them again. Hopefully by Christmas we will be able to see each other again. They want me to come back in August for two birthdays…I hope to be able to.

My girls in PA

It was hard in April when they left my home, just seeing Jennifer after all these years, watching my 3 nieces get into the truck after just meeting them for the first time. Jennifer looked the same after all these years…she did not even have any wrinkles! My 3 nieces are beautiful and Jennifer has been a great mommy!
It was hard 2 weeks later, after spending 5 days in Michigan, leaving my sister in the hospital with her newborn baby girl. Her husband was there to take care of her but isn’t that a sister’s job too?
Dammit! I just found them, how do I leave them again? We are so far away, I don’t want to say goodbye. What will happen if I never see them again? We were separated once, could it happen again? I DO have to go to work you know.

Kimmie (I refuse to call her FIFI) is quiet and watchful. I met her in the last days of her pregnancy so I am sure she was miserable. She never complained one bit. Not extremely affectionate but straight forward, we were able to learn about each other in that short time we had together. She remembers more that I do about our childhood and she was the youngest! She is a nurse and her occupation seems to suit her.

My girls in MI

Jennifer is social yet reserved and very eager to learn all she can about me and Drew, my 16 year old son. Drew adores her like crazy as Jen has lots of hugs to give…like his mommy! We talk on the phone every day when we are apart.

The month I spent with my nieces at home was amazing. We got along so well. My son was also eating it all up as this is the first time that he has met any “blood family” as he says. It has always been just the two of us.

OH MY GOODNESS how those 3 girls can eat…I had no idea! I also learned about Diabetes as my oldest niece is Type 1. She got low (but not too low) and she got high (but not too high) so I did well. Jen has had some life or death situations since finding out about it. Boy was I scared, I made her test 3 times as normal. I had alarms set in my phone so that I would not forget. Looking back, I realize how hard it must have been to poke herself so much for me. Thanks Sarah for appeasing me and just rolling your eyes!

Jennifer and I talked this morning before she left for work as a caregiver for those of the “vintage persuasion”. She said one thing that I must never forget: “Always treat your family right. We had no control over what happened to us as children but we are adults now and we have a choice.” It made me think; I had found my mother recently and when she started talking about moving up to Indy with me, I FREAKED…she said a few mean things so I lost her again. Maybe I should call her back, maybe not. I haven’t figured that out yet. She is physically and mentally unhealthy. I am sorry mommy but I am not sure that I can take that on right now. I truly am very sorry. I have found her many times in the past but she always said that she was not ready yet. The last time was when Drew was 4 y/o and I told her that I would be waiting with open arms when she was ready but I could not handle the rejection anymore so I would not try again. I did anyway…and I probably will again.

For all those people out there that has family that is adamant about calling her FIFI and doesn’t talk much or a beautiful niece that struggles with that mean disease called Diabetes…or even a mother that gave you up when you were 11 years old, treasure them. Hold them dear to you because you do not want to go through life without them if you have a choice. I sure hope I make all the right choices.

The value of the internet in my daily life.

As I sit here on the computer and realize that I have not posted for a while, I also realize the value of the internet in my life.  I am on my computer for many different reasons every day.  Personally it is a love/hate relationship because it does take time to return the 50+ emails I get everyday, do an analysis for work, update calendar etc… but, it also keeps me up to date with my friends and new found family.  I am able to post pics just once and boom! everyone I know can see them all at once.  I can introduce myself to millions at a time (small exaggeration) and I can bring in business for my company that I otherwise would never have been able to do.  I am able to market the community efforts that I am involved in, I can laugh or cry at a joke or story, find new meaning in my life, share my poems (yes, I am a self-proclaimed poet), find a date (this has not worked as of yet) and anything else my crazy mind can imagine.  Now, here I am blogging…who would’ve thought?

The best thing so far is that my 2 sisters and I found each other again thanks to this wonderful tie to the world around me.  I would have never guessed that we were looking for each other at the same time.  She is not internet savvy but since I am all over the internet via networking, facebook and others, she was able to get in touch with me via Reunion.com or now it is called Mylife.com.  Of course, I had to become a member to read her emails but that was $60 well spent don’t you think?

Before this happened, Facebook was just a way for me to keep up with my son and his friends (actually, what they were doing behind closed doors).  Now, I use it everyday to keep up with my sisters and other friends, post new pics when my poor, overused and old computer will allow me and I also play that stupid Farm Town.  I am now beginning to allow others to join my page regarding work or other networking stuff.  I was doing Dope Wars but it was hard to explain why I was asking my son to be a dope dealer for me.  I might have gotten on Facebook once or twice a week at the time but it was enough to do what I needed to do.  Now, I spend at least 2-3 hours a day on the computer and alot more time on Facebook and some days have been up to 10 hours.  Crazy!  Now I have joined the Twitter craze and I love it… I now have it and others on my phone so that I can keep up with everything like an addict to heroin.  I even get texts when my favorite people post something new.  What is happening to me?  I feel like a stalker!!!

I have begun to do webinars too!  Can you believe that I can be on vacation visiting one of my sisters in PA or MI and do a meeting in my sweats?  Of course you can, what can we NOT do on the internet now?  I am doing a training meeting next week while at my sisters in PA…what a concept!!  Now I never have to say that I cannot come to visit you since I have to work.  Now I can say…no problem, I can take care of that.

I have met some amazing people through the internet, people that have been a blessing in my life.  I have also met some that I prefer not to know but I can block them…isn’t that great?  It is like not being home

I am watching you! Kinda spooky isn't it?

when they come knocking.  The only downside I have discovered is how exposed you are to entities that you may not want to be exposed to…viruses, crazy people and xxx advertisements to name a few.  We must take precautions but too many precautions would not have allowed my sisters to find me.  What a dilemma!

I was also able to find my mother again via the internet even though she does not even own a computer.  I was able to find her phone number and address and every single last name she has had in the last 27 years (and this is alot of last names to go through.)  I think she was married about 10 times since then.  I finally got to her last husband (which she had just divorced him about 6 months ago) and he gave me her cell number.  I called my sisters with the number in my hand and froze..what to do??  Do I call?  Do I let sleeping dogs lie?

I had found her a few times in the past but she always said she was not ready to see me.  Could I handle this same rejection again?  Yes, I could, I had my sisters for support…so I called.

Needless to say, I lost her again.  This time it was on purpose.  She was ready to see me but on the 2nd phone call she was wanting to come up to Indy from Georgia to live with me.  EEEEK!!!  I wasn’t ready for that one. She is still having some of the same issues of 27 years ago when she dropped me off and never came back!  Oh well, if I need to find her again I will always have the internet!

One thing is for sure…this internet thing is only going to get better and  I plan on going along for the ride.

Hello world!

Me at 14 years old

“Hello World” is a great title for this first blog.  It is the name that came with it so I guess others would have the same title but I deem it appropriate for the time being.  Am I not saying hello to this big world via the internet.  How else can you introduce yourself to potentially millions of people by one simple little click?

As I write my first blog ever, I contemplate where to begin.  I am sure everyone feels the same but as you know, that does not seem to matter when it is you.  I may not be consistent at first and I may seem to be babbling but hopefully I will find my way into someones heart.

I feel that I must introduce myself formally to you all!  I may even have a story to tell.  You see, my mother gave me up to the state when I was 11.  As you might guess, life to that point was different.  (I will go into more detail on this topic as my blog progresses.)

I went into a cycle of foster homes and group homes of which I proceeded to run away from beginning at the age of 12.  I was emancipated at 16 and became a legal adult.  I was free!  I had my own apartment and job and I also had many people supporting me along the way.  I was blessed with a family not based on bloodline but based on friendships and love.  True Kindred Spirits came into my life and taught me the many lessons we all learn at some point.  I had my son Drew when I was 21, got married at 23 (backwards, I know), divorced at 25 and here I am!  37 years old and proud of who I am.  I am excited about getting older.  I love what each day brings…excitement, new friendships, memories, experiences and watching my son grow into an amazing young man.

I am very involved in my son’s sports ventures which happens to be football, wrestling, baseball, track and field and weightlifting.  Football is the most important and time consuming across the board for both of us so I am also one of the High School Football team moms.  Along with a few others, we have been able to accomplish many good things for the program.  This responsibility has led to other community efforts to help raise funds for all other athletic programs.  I am a firm believer that athletics are as important as other aspects of our lives for our children.  (This will be another topic later too!)

As for my professional history, I started working when I was 13 with fake ID at McDonalds but I was soon to be “found out” so I moved on to other things like waiting tables and cleaning houses to make ends meet.  I am a hard worker and anyone that knows me knows that!  I have held up to 3 jobs at a time when my son was little so I am not afraid to roll up my sleeves and go get it!

When I became pregnant with Drew, I decided that I needed to figure out how to be a mother.   The best option for me was to be a pre-school teacher so that I can work, learn and spend time with Drew at the same time.  I fell in love! I tell you, if I could do that today…it would be my DREAM JOB!  It really did make me a better mother and I would reccomend any new mother to give it a shot.  A wonderful learning experience!

Once Drew was out of Pre-school, I went into cleaning houses full time so that I could be home with him before and after school.  I enjoyed that as well for the sole reason that it allowed me to be a mother.  For health reasons (inhaling chemicals) I left that business in its dust and got a real job in the construction industry.  I became an office manager for a construction company and again…I loved it.  I stayed in construction for many years in a couple different positions and finally made the “JUMP” into sales.  Which is where I am today and which is what led me here to you.

Just recently, I had an amazing thing happen to me.  Thanks to me being all over the internet due to my networking efforts, my sisters and I found each other.  We were separated when I was 11 and had not seen each other since.  As of Easter week this year, we have come together again.  I have 5 nieces too!!  I found my mother but I lost her again (on purpose…lol) This too will be a future topic of discussion in my blog!

This world I now live in is so much bigger than ever before.  The idea of talking to all of you like this is crazy, what makes me think that you would be interested in anything little ole’ me has to say?  I hope that I can entertain you with this blog, I hope that I can make you stop to think, stop to smell the roses and stop thinking that you are limited in what you can do.  This world is so big and it is waiting for you to embrace it…that’s what I am doing.  Come along for the ride with me and hopefully our world will get bigger yet more intimate at the same time.

I am off to spend time with my new found family now as my 3 nieces have been staying with me for a few weeks and I have to take them back home to Pennsylvania soon.  What a magical time my life has been and it just keeps getting better.  Thank you for allowing me to share the wonderous blessings of my life.